SEE WHAT REAL MEN ARE MADE OF at the autopsy exhibit. Food, fun and beer-swigging for all ticket-holders! Don't sit in the rain when you can be enjoying family-friendly Viet Cong-style executions! **** a ****** for mommy while large badgers claw at your entrails! Deep-throat a "big one" in a bread truck! ***** mysterious women with no clothes on! It's all for charity: Saint Jude's Cancer Torture Hospital!

(1) Find a document with your birthday on it. (2) Subtract your birth-year from the current year. (3) If the number of years is a number that ends in "teen" (like fifteen), then you are still a teenager unless your twentieth birthday has already passed.

Ball-twisting fun can be yours for 23%-off or no money down. Just pay 45 easy payments of $57 per week for 72 weeks or $99 per day for 3 years and you'll be sitting pretty in the most comfortable chair ever made! Built by dangerous Pygmy cannibals on an island somewhere, this chair features a built-in meat grinder and sinew stripper! You'll be eating people raw in no time with no questions asked, so hurry now or go to bed alone with an ex-lesbian with short fingers.