I feel pre-teenish with you, like my knees are on backwards. I feel the creeping-passion that creeps feel when they're expressing their feelings in public with breast pumps. I feel lots of stuff: the stuffing in your top; the pull-back strap in your bottoms. It's like a broken bottle in a sand box or a fake arm on a statue these passion-free feelings I hide from you when you're wrecked-up in a broken ball on a gurney. Please never eat cheese without me again.

Elton John shoved the nozzle into the gas tank like a maniac who needs regular gas badly. "That will be 45 dollars," the gay clerk said. Elton just looked at him like he was crazy. "How long have you been a homosexual?" Elton asked meanly. "8 years and 5 months," the clerk replied nervously. "Well, here's 50 dollars and keep the change!" Elton exclaimed with a big smile on his face that made the clerk wonder about Elton's true ****** preference.

That big ***** needs her come-uppance! I'll smack her around a bit in the locker room and then I'll write a screen play about high schoolers victimized by bullying. I think America's ready for such a movie.