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It comes with a booklet. Be the life of the party with this table! "Trixie! Is that a lesbian table?!" A lesbian guest might ask, and you'll say": "It sure is Minnie! Would you like to 'eat' from it?!" and then she says: "I'm a lesbian so of course I'd like to 'eat' from it!" and you answer back: "Let's take off our tight clothes then!" and she giggles and before anyone can stop you the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein shows up with a big bag of lesbian lubrication cream and you say: "Oh no! It's Jeffrey Epstein's ghost!" and finally the ghost exclaims: "I am the spirit of president Zachary Taylor, not Jeffrey Epstein!" and everyone starts taking their clothes back off.
THE WAR FOR NIGERIA'S INDEPENDENCE - Abe Lincoln said (paraphrased from gossip I heard from a Nigerian schizophrenic with asthma): I am happy to be in ****** City to speak about the ***** War. Our people have suffered from short penises since Washington was a school boy: eating cherry trees; chopping down Lizzy Borden's mother with a hatchet. But I'm not going to bore you with that, instead I will drone on and on about slavery and **** chicks of mixed parentage, chicks with long nails and short-cropped *****, women with soft, brown ******* that bead oil and make life fun & pleasurable. Yes, my fellow men's room attendants, we must never give up nor surrender, nor eat cookies with dog turds on them.
My black mistress, she took orders well. "I want 2 scrambled eggs, remove the egg-shell." I can't help you with nothing. I ain't your love-slave. It seems that you took more than I ever gave. I'm sweating bullets or I'm sweating like a pig. For a pre-op woman, you're god-awful big. The sun's so hot that it's baking peanuts, healing runny ****** and scabbing over cuts.
For the ancient predecessors of flying squirrels to attempt gliding, duringο»Ώ the transitional millenniums that necessitate the formation of rudimentary webbing or wings, would be suicidal. Countless generations of squirrels with death wishes would be required as triggers forο»Ώ the millions of evolutive changes, of the childishly vague Darwinian/Sumerian/Lamarckian model, to be realized.
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