𝓢𝘂𝘇𝒚 𝘽𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝙣𝙨𝗸𝘆

𝓢𝘂𝘇𝒚 𝘽𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝙣𝙨𝗸𝘆 3h

ALLIGATORS eat tons of women in Florida.

This is why young Floridia men are so hesitant to marry them.
One Tampa man put it succinctly: "It's senseless to marry a
woman here because she'll probably get eaten by a gator
in a few years, that's why I married a homosexual man."

𝓢𝘂𝘇𝒚 𝘽𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝙣𝙨𝗸𝘆 3h

THE TIME TO PANIC ABOUT THE WEATHER IS NOW!!!

𝓢𝘂𝘇𝒚 𝘽𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝙣𝙨𝗸𝘆 4h

ᴵ'ᵐ ᵍˡᵃᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵐᵒᵗʰᵉʳ'ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᶠᵃᵏⁱⁿᵍ ⁱᵗ. ˢʰᵉ ʰᵃᵈ ᵐᵉ ᶠᵒᵒˡᵉᵈ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᶠᶠⁱⁿ ᵗⁱˡˡ ˢʰᵉ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗᵉᵈ ᶜᵒᵘᵍʰⁱⁿ' ᵃⁿᵈ ˢⁿᵉᵉᶻⁱⁿ' ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵃⁿ ᵃˢᵗʰᵐᵃᵗⁱᶜ ʷʰᵒ'ˢ ᶜʰʳᵒⁿⁱᶜᵃˡˡʸ ʷʰᵉᵉᶻⁱⁿ' ᵈᵘʳⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵃᵍʷᵉᵉᵈ ᵖᵒˡˡᵉⁿ ˢᵉᵃˢᵒⁿ.

𝓢𝘂𝘇𝒚 𝘽𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝙣𝙨𝗸𝘆 8h

SMALL TATTOOS ARE AWFUL!

I got a tattoo last week. Where? Here! It's too small. You should've got one fifty times bigger. What can I do now? Enlarge it with tattoo enlargening cream. Simply rub it into small tattoos every 15 seconds for 9 months. How much larger will my tattoo get? Well, a tattoo that's 1 square inch can get as large as a garbage can lid. That is large! See this cobra? It used to be no bigger than a hornet. Now look at it! It wraps around my flabby *** and ***** before lurching north to my throat. I'm impressed!

𝓢𝘂𝘇𝒚 𝘽𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝙣𝙨𝗸𝘆 10h

𝓣𝓞𝓓𝓐𝓨 𝓘 𝓕𝓞𝓤𝓝𝓓 𝓞𝓤𝓣

𝓝𝓸 𝓚𝔂𝓵𝓮, 𝓘 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾. 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽'𝓼 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪𝓷 𝓮𝓶𝓹𝓽𝔂 𝓮𝔁-𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓫𝓲𝓪𝓷 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓮. 𝓘 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓽 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓪 𝓶𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂. 𝓡𝓮𝓶𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻, 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻'𝓼 𝓪𝓷 𝓮𝔁-𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓫𝓲𝓪𝓷. 𝓨𝓮𝓼, 𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓸𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓫𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓼𝓶 𝓽𝔀𝓮𝓷𝓽𝔂-𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓰𝓸 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓮𝔁-𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓫𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓼 𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓻𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂 𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀𝓵𝓮𝓭𝓰𝓮𝓭 𝓮𝔁𝓬𝓮𝓹𝓽 𝓪𝓽 𝓫𝓸𝔀𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼. 𝓗𝓮𝓻𝓮, 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴 𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓿𝓾𝓵𝓿𝓪. 𝓘𝓽'𝓼 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓾𝓷𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓻, 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓪 𝓒𝓸𝓴𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮. 𝓨𝓮𝓼, 𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀.

𝓢𝘂𝘇𝒚 𝘽𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝙣𝙨𝗸𝘆 16h

THE EARLY ELVIS

What's your new song called? "Take off your Underpants Donna."
Let's hear it. Do you like it? Yes, it's pretty good. But? But what?
Do you really want to use that title? Yes. What would you
call it? I'd call it, "Take off your Underpants Stephanie."

𝓢𝘂𝘇𝒚 𝘽𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝙣𝙨𝗸𝘆 1d

UNDER MY SWOLLEN TOE is another swollen toe fused to the upper one. How the **** did that grow there???!!!! It's like a mystery wrapped in an anti-lesbian Christmas card blessed by Jimmy Swaggart.