I get it,
I really do.
It was 'our little secret' too

I was scared,
and confused
threatened in the comfort of my own bedroom

..But what more could I do?
What can anyone do?
The insensitive tell you to move on from it,
your best friend is scared to heal your heart in case she stomps on it
therapists and teachers will never have a clue
and the girls who don't know you will even judge you

... So why make it harder for yourself?
I know you can't forget, but try to forgive.
I know you wonder why it happened to you but try to understand
you're much stronger than this.

Well you must be,
why else would God give you a battle like this?
If you speak up you'll be safe
you'll be the fighter who lives'

So be a little stronger.
Be a little braver.
No one's gonna hurt you
We're all gonna save you.

Be a little vulnerable,
its a gift that none of the popular girls have
because to me you're still innocent,
still wonderful even through the bad,
still beautiful even when you're sad.

..You thought no one would understand if they knew,
But I lived it, so believe me I do.

I'm gonna wait for a new love,
to scribble out the pain

the pain you left, inside my chest
here, where the ink from my heart pours
out your name.

My paper heart has lost it's beating
and I can't re write my past
so please just write the next few lines for me.
Please let our last moment last..

....

'Cause if love is communication,
and hearts are made of paper..
then let our mouths do the listening
and save the goodbyes 'til much, much later.

When you wrote a short poem, you were in the mood for a quickie.
Meant you had no patience for me and didn't want my attention.
You got a short attention span, lack of patience and you hurl insults.
Wish you really loved me like I loved you, what you love is money.
Felt dead for years and missed the sweet you that went slow making love.
You lost interest when I lost my job for a few months, you hurled loser.
You did not want to be tied to a frigging loser, died inside dozens of times.
My heart ache was his gain, you met your lover boy in the stables.
Tried like hell to keep you happy, you did not want that from me.
You only wanted it from him, he had a good job but not like me.
I can't get back what I felt for you once you hurled insults at me.
You got dollar signs for eyes and money centered.

If I even began to try and tell you how much I love you, this wouldn't ever end.
I love you more now than when I was your best friend.

Despite what people may think about the love that we both share,
Its something that I'm proud of  and unafraid to declare.

Right now, its 3:40 and I'm unable to go back to sleep,
I'm thinking about you and the promise I just can't keep.

I'm sorry I can't seem to stay up to read to you as I said,
I'm sorry that you have to face these thoughts within my head.

But baby, if there's anything I know for sure is true,
Its that despite my actions, I'm hopelessly in love with you.

You've been here for me since day one and you've never let me down,
You talk and make me smile when all I know is how to frown.

And if you couldn't see it, or if you doubt its truth,
If, like other people, you start to doubt such love for youths,

I really just need to tell you, as I lay awake in bed,
All the time, its mostly you that resides within my head.

I know that this is cheesy, writing a silly little jig,
Its as though we're both little, passing notes just like we're kids.

But it seems that, for some reason, the words, they flow tonight.
Its the first time in a long time I've been able to just write.

I feel that now is perfect, to explain to you these things,
That make me feel worse than the worst of all my dreams.

You see, if there's anything I'm good at, its writing things like this,
The words, they flow much easier. It kind of brings me bliss.

Baby, let me tell you of the things that make me cry,
Like when I get alone, sometimes I wish that id just die.

Or sometimes, out of nowhere, I just stare and fight back tears,
Because I think of silly things that happened through the years.

Sometimes, on occasion, I even think of you,
I know that its upsetting that sometimes I doubt what's true.

And even still, there's more to tell.
Some things that make me yell.

Like people like my mom and dad,
Who make just living hell.

But baby, if there's anything I've learned now not to doubt,
Its that this love is genuine; you, I can't live without.

And baby, if that's not genuine or if you still can't see,
Think of how you see me, and multiply by three.

That's how I feel about you, although its much much more.
For you, Id be your everything. Id be who you adore.

What makes this thing that we've both special and unique,
Is that we can love each other without kisses on the cheek.

At our age, it seems silly, stupid or naive,
That's what people tell me when I say when I will leave.

But they can't seem to see you in the way that I just do,
They can't seem to tell that I'm desperate to be with you.

Baby, I love you, of this I'm extremely sure.
Baby, you're my everything and still you so much more.

So now I've told you everything, of why my mood just drops,
I've told you of what I think of when I'm crushed by rocks.

I've tried to tell you how I feel, the words aren't flowing freely,
It seems that for now its time for my talent to start to leave me.

So baby, keep your head up now and smile all today,
Don't forget about the words that I always can say.

Baby, I love you, don't forget, now, I'm heading back to sleep.
Thanks for being the only one who doesn't scream "black sheep."