how many times
must I fall
into your trap
before I learn?

how many times
must I sacrifice
my dignity
before I move on?

how many times
must I allow myself
to play victim
before I emerge
my Hero?

How easy to act
as if those characters
In the books are
make believe
How easy to act
as if those struggles
faced by others
around the world
are fantasy

Just wait until
the unthinkable
the unbearable
the unsolicited
strikes your life
like an unsuspecting
bullet in the night
Everything you think
you know
everything you think
you believe
will suddenly be
flipped upside down
Then come back to me
look me in the eyes
and tell me
it was all just
make believe

Selfish
The echo
Reverberates like
Nails on a chalkboard
Sand in my mouth
Predators pouncing on prey
Cars screeching to a grinding halt
Did you just call me
Selfish?

I protest
I state my case
Pledge my promises
Defend allegations
As if I am in a
Court of law
Combing through
And divulging
Every shred of evidence
To the contrary
To prove to you
I am not
Selfish

Mother,
I dream I am
Your pristine beach
Making you feel alive
I dream I am
Your porcelain doll
Magnificent and revered
I don’t want to be
Unseemly litter dotting the
Sandy white shores
I don’t want to be
The growing crack that
Causes you concern
I dream you see me
Unique yet flawless
A piece of art
In progress

Daughter,
I dream I am
Understood like
A well read history book
I dream I am
Your patchwork quilt
Providing memories
And warmth
I don’t want to be
The comic book villain
You root to see demolished
I don’t want to be
A throwaway blanket
Tucked neatly in the attic
I dream you see me
As your own
Superhero

I pucker my lips at
The taste of
Bitter memories
Unable to wash out
The aftertaste

The sourness lingers
Forming into
Resentment
Despite my desire
To love
You

My smile
Expertly conceals
A dagger with a
Freshly sharpened blade
Ready to puncture

My smile
Hides the barrel of
A loaded firearm
Cocked and ready
To confront the masses

My smile
Masks the inner protest of
A fiercely bellowing voice
Inflating the insides of
A soundproof cage

My smile
Douses the outside flames
Lessening the external damage
While the fire burns
Furiously inside

My smile
Forces the tears to stay
Trapped behind floodgates
Zipping up the truth that
Cannot be told

I carry you
In my bones &
In my blood &
In my soul
No matter how
Many times
I try to
Evict you