Julia

Julia May 2013

Did you ever stop
to wonder where everyone
was going?

whoosh, whoosh, whoosh

Julia Apr 2013

Genesis

There is a ****,
a toxic bit of cancer,
in the garden of my soul

It wraps around
my dreams--
a python of the greenery

Raspy hisses that
the real world doesn't
work that way,

You have to hide your heart
your love, your all
you don't want that pain, do you?

No, I don't, I don't want
that at all, I say,
so I put down my *****

& I am Eve,
banished from the garden
but I do not feel a thing.

Julia Apr 2013

Playground

The shout of voices turned my head
I blinked pathetic drops out of my
line of vision & I saw teenagers
on swing sets, too large for their desires
call out new beginnings, budding romance,
& inevitable ending & bitterness to
a couple in the shadows, teasing
their infatuation with meaningless rhymes.
It's all inevitable end, inevitable hurt
people they kiss--& more--
who will linger no longer in their thoughts to come.

The predictable way brought my eyes
back to him, the never ending,
holding the book of Him, The Never Ending,
on this cold dark park bench
& I smiled because I saw all I could
ever fathom in his being.

Julia Apr 2013

Mist

float to me

lean on me

I will catch you

weak as the legs

I use to stand

may be,

lay it all on

me,

& I will

requite your

trust with all

the love I have

ever had to

give, just call

I know

you need a

friend, & here

I am;

a stranger

Julia Apr 2013

Moths

.   \  /
.I struggle  ||  to find
. the words, any  ||  expression for
     the invisible  ||  moths that
.    flutter  ||  within
                       .      me & whis-  ||  per emotions
.                   that I can  ||  never echo
    .

Julia Mar 2013

Nationalism

I **** & it's okay because
I **** for my country

Wait no, that was a father
that was a son
I watched the life ebb from
the body of an uncle
whose favorite color was green
who loved old music.
I turned this husband,
this pro stone-skipper
into less than a corpse;
into a statistic
a number.

I **** for my country

Julia Mar 2013

Untitled

I overdosed on you
How could I forget that I can only
take so much of mostly everybody
before I need a break, I need
space?
& who
would have known
that of course, I would stumble
upon you, the little dot of glue that I could
not manage to scrape off my thumb so
that I could hide from people I
love?
Jesus
Christ, I knew I was
a monster & waves of oceans can
not cleanse me, what I hope I am no longer
I just needed time, didn't I? I picked out
too much of you, & everyone knows
that you can't leave the table
without finishing
it all
I
couldn't leave you
in the start, when I thought that
maybe I could handle it, maybe I could skip
my break & work overtime. But now I see how
you saw me & all the guilt I have been feeling
for months doubles in pain and agony.
I need change, you need stability
& we were a match made
in nuclear
war
fare, I guess. I
really should have done
what you do, read the trends & not
search me out, but my fingertips, so ripe with
curiosity, looked at responses from a certain poet we both
enjoy, & the first one I saw, I clicked & found you & I
read everything, like I should not have. Even if I
needed it, mercy, the things I wish
I could unsee, even though
I deserve to stare at it
for the rest of
my ****
life.

This is a rant, 100%. Nothing poetic here, but something that is very personal, communicational, & not suitable for this website at all. There is just no way this could fit in a text message; the characters, perhaps, but never the meaning.