NV - Hello Poetry

NV Nov 2015

and
i don't know
if this is me
just overreacting,
but
the only reason it scares me
when the wind causes my bedroom door to slam shut,
is because
i'm deeply afraid
that
i'll get used to the sound of people leaving.

Oct 2015

yass min

usless

what's wrong with you ?
they ask me all the time.
i'm wrong with me ,
i'm too much to live with .

NV Oct 2015

when last

when last have i had a 3am kind of conversation,
with my star like emotions scattered all over the darkest parts of me,
mimicking the sky,
my moon like persona that always returns back to hiding me away.
when last have i felt safe enough to let somebody in,
to not have visions of my vulnerability being tied to the bed after he locks the door behind him,
his voice like some sort of broken record that keeps on repeating that
"it's gonna be okay."
when last have i had a shoulder to cry on that isn't my own,
for my neck to stop worrying that the tear filled sea on either side won't get waves big enough to drown me.
when last okay,
when last has it felt good to be me.

NV Oct 2015

msg delivered

01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself

02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself

NV Sep 2015

18.

it's sorta kinda my birthday today.
and i know i should be happier than i am right now.
but truth is, i'm not.
i'm pretty much depressed to be honest.
but not that it matters though.

i really just wanted to thank all you bloggers for giving me pieces of your heart,
the kindness and motivation that makes my world seem like a better place at times.
because if there's one good decision i've made in life,
it would be opening up myself to all of you.

this space has made me feel heard.
this space has made me feel wanted.
this space has made me feel loved.

and just in case you didn't know,
every one of you,
makes a difference,
every time.

and i know i don't know you - but i love you anyways

#happybirthdaytome

NV Sep 2015

company car please.

he just sounded a bit down over the phone.
and all i really wanted to do,
was wrap my arms around his body like a ring on a finger.
to tell him about the times i get lonely too,
and how the only things that take up space is air,
and the echoes of my heartbeat.
and i swear to god,
i could have cried at the fact that technology only made it easier to love someone you aren't able to touch.
the drop in his voice deeper than any ocean i've been to.
but an ocean i don't mind swimming in,
sinking in.
it's 4:28 in the morning and i don't know if all this writing even makes sense,
or if it's just as bad as the one before.
but one day when he gets lonely again,
i just hope that i'm blessed enough to pick up the keys and drive my way into his arms.

NV Sep 2015

⛔

BUT YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE,
THAT NO ONE WILL LOVE THEM UNTIL THEY START LOVING THEMSELVES.
YOU HAVE TO STOP PLANTING THIS IDEA IN PEOPLES BRAINS THAT THEY ARE UNWORTHY OF LOVE,
JUST BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN STRUGGLE.