I should have told you all the nights I cried myself to sleep because my walls were screaming harsh things, I should have told you about the days people looked me in the eyes and told me how ugly I was, or how didn't like how small I am, or how funny I talked, people didn't like how I murmured to myself because those voices in my head were the only people who cared, I should have told you about the times my voices went away and I couldn't act the same because I didn't know what to do, they helped me through a lot of lonely nights and tear ****** days, I should have told you about how much I wanted to leave your loving arms because you didn't see I was in pain. You didn't see that I was about to collapse on the floor. I should have told you all the times I woke up from nightmares, my voices had came back but there was only one and he wasn't someone I made up. He was a past for both me and you. I could have told you but the ways I killed my pain, it was similar to the ways you did when you were my age but more painful. I wasn't as strong as you were. I wish I would have told you about the way I fell in love with the thought of kissing my life goodbye, I wish I could have explained in some way the way I had to pick up the pieces you thought you stitched together. I should have screamed at night to show you that I was in as pain as I hid, or not speak at all, my voices could say more than I ever could. Or you could have just open your eyes to fact that I couldn't truly smile, I couldn't even breathe. If you were just to take your eyes off of her and look at me, you would have seen.. Oh mom, I should have told you when I could.