I can feel myself,
Falling into the same habits..
I felt before.
Those terrible feelings,
Are rushing in again..
Only this time it is different..
I no longer am reaching for a razor,
Hoping to find my way out in that.
But I do feel myself,
Balling up my emotions again..
Not expressing them to anyone.
Which isn't good for my own health..
I'm just afraid of what'll happen,
If I tell someone I'm sad again.
How they'll react,
What they will do..
Maybe it's just a temporary thing..
But I don't know how to cope with it..
I lone for the taste of alcohol on my lips,
Or some thing..
That beautiful some thing,
That'll make me feel nothing at all..