My chest hurts as I inhale the smoke
But the nicotine lifts a greater pain
Something born in my darkest of days
I sit on my roof
Looking out at the stars
Listening to the endless
stream of far away cars

There is something inside my soul
Thick, black, cynical and cold
But without it I would not be whole

I've tried to burn it and bury it
But relentlessly it conquered me
And not until I decided
To befriend it did I see
When I refused to acknowledge
It's existence, it was all that existed
And when I invited it in
It sat by the fire an listened

Sometimes we bicker and
Hate each other
It really likes to play with
My ticker
Most of the time I win
And it becomes as small
As a pin
Yet occasionally it demands it's
Turn to be
And I let it envelop me like a sea
We both have thrones
But sometimes I have to bow
And let it marinate my bones