one day i was shopping
in the rite-aid and as i
approached the checkout counter
and smiled at the cashier
our eyes met

at that exact moment
the earth stopped to turn on its axis
when That occurs
(since the earth spins so fast)
things fall off shelves and whatnot
in other words
a whole lotta shakin' goes on

then the earth starts to make a creaking sound
as though it may be in need of oil
that is when i started to jump
up in the air
because i know that
if you jump high enough
when the earth flips
you can land on the other side
of the planet
for me that would be
like going to china
for free

it doesn't work when
you are inside of a building
and the furthest i have ever gone
was about a half a block

anyway the cashier sees me
jumping up into the air
and yells at me
"stop jumping up and down
you're making the stuff fall off the shelves
who do you think is going to have to
clean up this mess?"

then the earth flipped and
things went back to normal

I stopped jumping and
our eyes remet each others
i could've sworn at that moment
that i had fallen down the grand canyon
the cashier (rachel) was wearing a baseball cap
over her beautiful brown hair
and to this day i swear that i cannot
get the image of her out of my head
her hazel eyes of love
brought tears to mine
i appologised
found the items i needed
and checked out

as i walked home
with my mind on rachel
i became manic and
that carol king song crept
up in my head and
i began singing
"i feel the earth move under my feet
i feel the sky a tumble-lin' down
i feel my heart start to tremble-in'
whenever you're around..."

i sang it every day
for about a month
before i got the courage
to ask her out

as it turns out
she wasn't the marrying kind
just some cheap ****

i'll never jump that high again