There is a strange pain inside,
Or some type of emotion.
I don't really want to feel it
But on the other hand I do

I'm not sure what to call it
It isn't one of the few emotional friends that used to visit me late at night

Those were more violent
More sad
More depressed

This one is sorta calm
Yet sorta hurtful
Sorta lost

There is a weird comfort in this one
I can almost get lost in it.
And don't really want to let it go

I must look ridiculous
Sitting in the shower,
Naked,
With towel on my head,
The shower door open
137 at night,
Or in the morning,
Or whatever


What am I doing here?

I want to hold onto this moment
Get lost in the emotion

Make him,
Or her,
Or whatever this is,
My dear and close friend
Stay

Maybe it will help me to change,
Find myself again

Or maybe it will help me get lost in this weird mess of a life

And I won't have to figure out anything...
Or come back again.