Reflecting on the flaws that
Might as well be parasites
I realize the amount of effort it will take to demolish them
I slink down
Down to the floor
And the tears they fly
Everything from the past, present issues, and future problems already conceived
Contemplation over heating and exploding
Hitting myself with the shrapnel
Not regretting a single bit of it
Reality sinking in
Of how alone I have caused thyself to become
Of how deep I have really gotten
Once again the amount of effort is remembered
And the challenge is accepted
I choose to live that day and since, I have had to make the same decision many times
The effort being put in
The temporary "bliss" becomes an addiction
The memories floating away
Effort being forgotten
And the shrapnel returns