I guess it was just how every wish I made--
Yellow lights,
Eye lashes,
11:11,
I spent them wishing I could be with you,
Be your first kiss,
And your kiss mine.
But then--
I was weak.
I didn't ask you "Do you or did you like me?"
Those were just the words I used.
I meant "Could anyone love me for who I am?"
And then when I tried to play it like a joke--
"Rude." The word too often used
To describe who I am.
It broke me... And my trust in you.
I was being inconsiderate.
I was being rude.
I was weak.
I am still weak.
Funny how being weak makes it hard to let go of a heavy weight.
I promise I don't hate you--
Even if you see sadness in my eyes.
I thought I learned how to love,
But I can't.
I can't even love myself.

And yet--
              After all of this--
                                         I love you for who you are.