Once upon a time, there was a
fat-***, rude, easily aggravated, and aggressive princess
who sat at the top of a tower,
waiting for a dreamy prince who would someday climb the tower
and rescue her
and not care that she was
ugly, loud, and half out of her mind.

One day, that day came,
and this boy of a man
climbed up the sides of the ****** tower
that contained the dreaming princess,
hoping to save her
and make her his.

Once he got to the top,
he tapped her window,
rap...rap...rap
"My dear, I have come save you! Come out!"
She stirred out of another daydream of a
hunky, sweet guy coming to save her,
only to find that it had come true.
She dashed across the floor,
with her fat chubby legs, her heavy panting, her sloppy, ***** and tattered chiffon dress,
and burst open the french window.

"Oh hey yea, sorry I was kinda busy back there, so what's up? Why'd you come knocking? Hmmm..? Where are you?"
She looked around, but couldn't find the poor prince.
Turns out, the prince had clung on the the window,
but once she flung open the windows,
he lost his grip and fell back down,
all the way down to the bottom.
She stared down.

"****! Oh well. At least he gets that pretty ***** at the bottom,
who has yearned for his attention for so long. He'll be happy. They deserve each other."
She shrugs, closes the windows, and watches as
the fair maiden at the edge of the tower
mends his bones and his heart,
while stealing it along the way.

The fortunate prince fell in love with the dear maiden,
and it seems that she had always loved him from afar but never dared to say a word,
and they both lived happily ever after.
Of course, all while the princess stared down with a knowing smile on her face.