It was a long time ago

I would be woken up by my brothers' loud music taste

I would rush downstairs to sing along to whatever pop-punk or metal band it was

I would scream and hurt my voice

But I wouldn't care

I would stare out of my window and see the trains flash past

I would run around outside playing football and hide and seek

I would spend the rainy days playing whatever video game I wanted

I would never be bored
And I had it all

I had everything I ever wanted

But that was all before it happened

It was all different one day

Dinner was quiet

We were sent to our room for no reason

Me and my brother obeyed

I still remember shouting and someone being dragged out of the house

I couldn't see but I could hear it

I remember nothing

Then a SMASH

Then SIRENS

Then nothing

And I saw red and blue lights out of the window

My brother just told me to keep quiet

And go to sleep

It'll all be ok once I go to sleep

I didn't sleep at all

It was a long night

We didn't see our dad for a while after that

My brother didn't play his music anymore

I never watched the trains

My brother didn't want to play with me

I didn't feel like playing games, either

Then we moved away from that place

No more big TV with loud speakers

No more train tracks

No more big garden where we can run

No more video games

We lost it all

And ever since I've tried to get it back

I tried to get the music, and the trains, and the field, and the games back

But that day it all died

And I can't ever have it back