I was so scared to do it
So terrified in fact that I created a script
How’s that for pathetic?
You actually mostly stuck to the script
Which was nice
I stumbled on a few lines
Even though I was the only one who actually knew the script
And the one who wrote it
How’s that for sad?
I thought it seemed like it was going okay
I’ve seen you around
You don’t have a lot of friends with you most of the time
Any, actually
And for some reason
I have always found unpopularity attractive
How’s that for unusual?
Maybe because I never was popular
Or maybe because I hate the Populars for how they treated me
Or maybe because the Populars have their own little culture they’ve created among themselves
With values like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes
And beliefs that they are above everyone else
I’m just not into that
You aren’t outspoken
You don’t say too much
And I want to unlock you
You are so quiet
Like a secret I’d love to unravel
I’d take mysterious over excessively confident any day
But I don’t really get to pick and choose
I’m not the pretty type who has that option
Still, I took a chance
How’s that for stupid?
I decided to go and just do it
Because I figured you were worth the risk
You were musical
And athletic
Physically attractive (although, that isn’t my priority)
Nice eyes
Really, really nice eyes
And quiet
I really liked you and hoped maybe I could have a slight chance with you
How’s that for incredibly dumb and delusional?
So I thought it was turning out okay
And when I did it
When I finally gave it to you
You smiled at me
And said Alright
You know what
Why did you have to smile?
That was cruel
If you were planning on just leaving me hanging
For 95 hours and 58 minutes (yes I've kept count it is really pathetically sad)
If would have been less painful if you had rejected me up front
To my face
Refused to even accept my number
Told me you were not interested
It would have been better if you had even just said
…um okay…
Then I might not have gotten my hopes up
Like I promised myself I wouldn’t
And of course I couldn’t help myself as usual
I almost wish you had said something hurtful
Cruel
Told me I was worthless and ugly
And you didn’t want to be seen anywhere near me
Then it would have been easier
To make myself not like you
If I knew you were an unkind
It’s just that you are not
And I guess I just misinterpreted
The way you acted
I guess I mistook your actions
I really thought you would at least text me
Even just to be friends
Even just out of politeness
But you didn’t
And I blame myself
And the funny thing is
I don’t regret it
At all
I don’t regret taking that risk
Even though it didn’t work out
But I really wish it had worked out
I still find myself hoping
That maybe you lost my number
Maybe there is still hope
Maybe you could change your mind
How’s that for wishful thinking?