They invade us from our hospitals,
They come in ones or twos.
They’re cute but they’re unruly,
a most uncivilized crew.
They speak no human language
Yet demand that they be fed.
Their pitiful screams at 2 A.M.
Leave their parents feeling dead.
They need to be taught manners;
To say “Thank You” and “Please”.
We need them to be immunized
against childhood disease.
In time they’ll become civilized;
Young Ladies and Gentlemen.
Until that time they must be confined
In their strollers and playpens.