imagine believing in something so wholeheartedly
that you dedicate your life to sharing
whatever joy you receive from that: you want them to know
because there is nothing more important to you
and you teach them, you teach them, you teach them
and then you reach the ****** of your lesson,
at the end of the year- this is the single most important thing
that you yourself have ever learned- this is it,
they must know this, they must
you finish saying it and you look around and ask if they understand
half are looking down, some are sleeping, one makes eye contact with you
but none are filled with zeal, and you know
that another group of people has slipped through your fingers
a piece of you dies with every student that loses their faith because
you have failed, you have not expressed what you wanted
and they have not absorbed
and you realize the true destitution of experience:
they can never share in what you have, no one can
you are alone, and they do not understand.