when every day is all pen ink running dry & shaky caffeine fingers,
panic attack fever & ***** bathroom stall tears,
remember you already survived yourself.  remember you took poison pills
& they couldn’t even **** you. mama never said there’d be days like these
but this has always been more hailstorms than sweater weather.

give me something ****** & sentient,  i need
to be touched so badly,
even if it comes sharp knuckles & bruises.
i need everyone to love me but all i see is you.
glassy-eyed & giving my all,
finally on the verge of becoming,
this is what i give you.
this is my offering.

& then you tell me i’m doing so good
& kiss the splash of coffee from my nose
see, i want the whole world remembered in my neurons,
in my fingertips, in the backs of my eyelids
i want an infinity of foreign places burned into my brain
but if you’re the only country i rest my roots into
i want nothing else.