With each replay of a long, mellow song to drown out my sorry soul as I wallow in self pity and shout at the walls, I find that the volume increases inevitably as I struggle to engulf my senses long enough to transcend into a state of unknowing.

People say, "Ignorance is bliss." and sometimes they are right. Believing a lie, delusion or honey-coated words helps keep many sane and it shields them from pain, but for how long?

Once these people do see the light, they feel an embodiment of pain far, far worse from what they'd thought because they have grown accustomed to what has been and not what is.

Often am I lost, creating new worlds and being the maker of places I cannot physically enjoy and can only dream just to satiate my mind and to prevent it from madness for now.

I am trapped between surrealism and reality. I cannot emphasize how much it hurts to enjoy yourself in a perfect world where everything seems to go right, and then be hurled back into the dark recesses of reality. I'm disoriented from the ride, and I honestly want to break down.

You are nothing but what you had and what you lost.

(seastarred)