Just let me be where I am now.
Especially at THIS POINT of life.
Let me sink in to my own illusions
and just go along with it and support me.
It's not like it's hurting anyone really.
Just let me fantasies about other people who I like a lot in life.
Let me be full of myself to a certain extent.
JUST LET ME BE.
I just want to be in my own drug.
The part time warmness that comes and goes.
The silly jokes I make of 'how it'd be like' with that other person.
Just let me have SOME SORT of fun with people.
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Because, if you were to take that 'drug illusion' away from me,
I'll be reminded ONCE MORE BY REALITY;
That I don't have a loving heart to give.
My hollowness.
My "Ice Queen" title.
My longing for HIM.
The memories.
Depression and self-harm will come eat me up again.