When I was with him my heart melted into my stomach and turned to butterflies with every word I've wanted to say to him etched into their wings;
When my head was resting on his chest, I could hear his heartbeat while my head bobbed up and down to the rhythm of his breathing,
I felt a new kind of love;
When my lips first touched his my heart skipped a beat,
then he took my breath away and I could swear I was in heaven;
I was in a dream for weeks until I was abruptly awoken when he first found out about my horrible secret;
He thought the cuts on my wrists were his fault and said we can’t be together if he was the source of my pain;
my breath was taken away,
I was on my knees begging and pleading and telling him it wasn’t his fault;
But he didn’t believe me.
I knew then I would never feel his chest rise and fall and our hearts would never beat in unison again;
I felt a new kind of pain.
There was a fire lit within me, destroying me from the inside out,
No longer were angels singing in the sky, they have turned to demons clawing at my back screeching in my ear;
Is this hell? Is this the hell I have to live through until someone comes along to extinguish the flames.  
Then my heart turned to stone and sunk into my stomach killing all the butterflies and things I wanted to say;
my heart skipped more than just a beat, like a smooth stone on a lake it skipped butterflies:
1. Don’t leave me
2. I need you
3. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me
4. I love you
As he was walking out the door one butterfly managed to escape,
The words fluttered off my tongue;

5. *I’m sorry