I'll admit that I’m not proud of my decisions
and I'll admit that I’m also proud of my decisions
and I'll tell you that it's always easier to ride a water slide when the water's running and
I know that my middle name is rather unextraordinary and
that yellow is not a color that looks good on me regardless of the weather
and I know that I’m a Pisces  even though I bear no resemblance to a fish
curving or otherwise
and I know that the moon is possibly the most magnificent thing in the sky in the middle of the night
and I understand the difference between love and lust and
I’ve learned that amends are hard to make
but so are almonds and trees do it all the time
I know that I’m only human and I’m going to make mistakes
but I also know that I’m human and I’m capable of amazing things
I know that there are colors in the universe that I’ll never see
and I know that the color of my eyes is probably the most profound of those
and I understand that love is not an unkind thing and that
not everything lovely will belong to me
I know the difference between fighting and arguing
and I know how to apologize even when my throat is begging me not to
I’m a realistic fantast and I know that cynicism isn’t charming
no matter how angular your cheekbones are
and I know that being the nicest person in the world won’t save everyone and
I know that just because I cry doesn’t mean I’ll feel better
and I know that cookie dough does indeed fix everything
and I learned through trial and error that every yellow light is just a green light playing coy
and maybe my wrists are a little small and my bones stick out a little too much
and I’m perpetually in a state of winter
but I also know that I’ve got thin red lines healing on my skin
and a best friend who threw away my razor because I couldn’t bear to do it
and I know that I’ve got a grandmother who makes pasta for me
every time I come over
because she knows I could use the carbs
and I’ve got a dog that makes me remember the point of wearing a seat belt
and coming home every day
and I know that I hurt a lot and I feel things so incredibly fiercely and
I know that just because it hurts doesn’t mean I won’t survive
after all if I’ve told you anything at all
it’s that even in the midst of contemplating ways to die
I still find a million reasons to be
alive