Imagine sitting in a room,
four walls, two windows,
one door,
but there's no way out.
you're trapped with your thoughts,
moments replaying over and over in your head,
and the minutes and hours,
increasingly get worse.

Imagine wanting so badly to talk to someone,
but not wanting to burden anyone with your weight,
so you try to handle it on your own,
but you can't stop crying long enough,
and your heart is breaking more and more,
you feel inadequate,
you feel worthless,
you feel pathetic,
you want the pain to stop,
so you drop a pain killer or two into your mouth,
and swallow it down with flat soda.

The hours keep moving,
but you can't bring yourself to go to sleep,
your mind won't be quiet,
so you reach the point of being awake for twenty-four hours,
every day,
and when you finally do crash,
you don't dream.
it's empty, just like how you feel.

But when you wake up,
you reach for your phone,
only to call a close friend or two,
wanting and hoping they'll make time for you,
but they don't.
they're too busy for you.
so you feel worse,
because you have no one there,
so the walls are closing in on you,
and all you want is for it all to go away,
but it won't.

you have no enjoyment from watching tv,
you see no point in being awake,
you see no point in sleep,
you see no reason to feel,
you see no point to care,
you can't stop shaking,
all you can do is cry,
and you want to talk to someone,
but you don't know how,
you don't know what to say,
so you're alone.

imagine this happening over and over,
for the past three days.
You're an anchor,
dropping into a bottomless sea,
nothing to grasp onto,
just falling, forever.

I just want the noise to stop,
I don't want to feel this way anymore,
I don't want to be alone anymore,
but I can't open my mouth to reach for you,
I keep hoping you'll reach back,
but you never do.