He asked me why I didn't 'dig' him
and I said, 'you're not my type'
but what I meant is,
I don't even like boys
and he said, 'who's better than me'
and I said 'a lot of people'
but what I meant is,
'have you seen Emma Watson?'
and adolfo wants me to be exactly who I am,
with a gut reaction,
every time
but for someone who has spent their whole life
hiding and lying and creating machinations
for someone whose every motion is watched and
analyzed so as not to give anything away
for someone who developed social skills because
she needed to conceal who she was
that is hard, it is hard, it is nearly impossible
because no matter how many times you tell me to 'say whatever I feel'
I cannot. I cannot. I cannot.
there are some things that must remain hidden.