i tried not to write of misery
and heartache,
but i always find myself writing about you in the end.
i don't want to seem depressed,
dependent,
almost pathetic,
as i find constellations to string together,
reasons why you left.
i know it seems a bit cliche,
but i guess now i understand movies.
it feels like i'm breathing underwater.
in reality, you worked as a lifeguard,
and you seemed so oblivious,
to me.
i'm drowning.
as the waves pushed me back further from shore,
you seemed to breathe better.
less suffocated.
the flowers i hoped i planted in you,
creeps out of your mouth,
they're weeds.
they have withered.
i have stopped watering them.
i thought i planted beautiful seeds in you, but they only turned out for the worse.
and i never knew,
till the vines suffocated you and creeped out your mouth.
and i'm sorry,
but i guess,
we've been both gasping for air.
honey, i'm sorry.

( FAH )