i wish it could have done it yesterday or last week even but theres no looking back. tomorrow isnt far away or it could be because time is as relative as everything else in this world (whether it's small because there aren't even 200 countries in it, or if it's large because 196 is actually very many). either way although time is absolutely relative i dont feel as though i have a whole lot of it. i digress. i was saying that i wish i did everything yesterday and hadnt put it off until today. but because i did im getting this weird panicky undercurrent as i wade through the river of life. if i were to be honest when asked "how are you" id reply "good and scared" if i was feeling good and "not good and scared" if i wasnt. every night as i prepare to waste the next 8 hours (optimally) of my life i count to myself the number of things i should have done that day that instead i put off til the next. its never a small number (Unless you think about it differently. Numbers are relative, after all). the worry i wake up with drives me like a nail through the day and the anxiety that remains drives me like a nail through the night (sleep is optional). when they are combined i write. i write without meter grammar spelling (sometimes) meaning (sometimes) or purpose (always). its a huge waste of time but i do it anyway