I had the blade in front of my vein, I didn't go deep enough but it was enough of satisfying pain. As I grin with a new fresh blade, ironically it was rainbow but now filled with red  shade. skins split and I am grinning. feels so good the ******* part of me is winning.  I am running from something I turning into. this isn't me but the pain you caused me isn't compared to what I put my skin too. I am so empty, No one can help me. I may leave I may stay. I need her to talk to me but I understand so I leave it at its pace. She is in a bad place and I am at my worst. truth is I am gone and she busy so I let things work. we're split now and i had screamed out loud. I split my skin and now I am addicted to it just as I watch the blade win.