It feels like most of my
Once upon a times
End with a miserably ever aftermath
Of cardiac debris and a sinking feeling
That gets lower
And lower
And lower
Until it gets to the bottom of the reasons why I can't seem to keep a good thing going
The scars are showing

So I'll tear out this chapter
And start the story again
Just like last time
But with less pages until the end
Less time to figure out
If this is the way to go
But that's alright because
The ending I already know:
None of us make it out of this alive

And in the same way I sit on these rocks
Next to a river that sometimes floods
Sometimes rages
Sometimes trickles
But never stops
I know I've got to keep going
And it's not a matter of choice
The second hand perpetually
Leaning
Falling
Whispering "soon" at the bottom of its voice

So, there's two ways to live this
Two ways to try
You could give up
And lose hope
You could lay down and die
Or you can go with the river
Its ebbs and its flows
And accept the fact
That sink or swim
Your bones end up
Where the undertow goes

So I've made up my mind to make a new start
I'll be going to California
But without the aching in my heart
Life's too short to wonder
Why? Who? What? When? Where? How?
Because when you're lost in the hypothetical
The misdirectional
The God-awful theoretical
You miss the here and now

There IS no shortcut
No get out of jail free
If you want the life you need
Repeat after me

To be loved
You must
First
Love