Midterm

I saw the familiar

rose-flush dust

shoot from my

fingertips,

the day

I finally

decided

to snap out of it.

I had forgotten what lived inside me.

I snapped again

at the

worrywart hut

I'd created

for myself

to live in.

And again, once more

for all time

gone

to my mind's

incessant banter

and going-on's

with

the

flirty,

too flirty,

doubting Adonnis.

The fog was heavy,

in its resilience against my

needs

to get it right,

overtaking me in confusion,

making me forget

the reality

that lay beyond it.

Its grip was choking,

sending me reeling

through a

soul-tainting realm

I hated

I knew so well,

grasping

for anything

to hold on to,

anything that

looked

like

Life.

So,

with the moon

tonight,

I weep

for the many suns

sacrificed

to

Unbelief

and

the parts of me

permitted to be

plagued

by

poison

and

malpurpose.

Though,

with the same tears,

I will thank my God

that I can at least

see

what lies

within me

and again, once more

while the moon is still bright

for the gift to feel

remorse.

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