helpless wandering
my back falls against the post
I sit here pondering
words to collaborate
to help elaborate my sense of mind
is it worth the work?
is it worth my time?
scrolling through yesterday
I found my self amazed, occupied and interested
in the ideas of what it would be like
temptations arouse my conscious
until my conscious kicked in
reminded me of my restraint
my shackle of freedom
my consequences
but how stupid am I to believe them
I sit restless,
it's obvious where my mind is at
it's obvious where I would like to go
it's obvious I'm clueless
my only ability is so put words together
like a wordsmith of some sort
people accept my words on paper
because they seize to believe it's true
It lacks the physical person
the voice matching through their ear
leaving behind a sense of legitimacy
but truthfully I'm speaking the truth
I do not lie to say I'm tempted
I would not lie to say I want it
But a sense of resistance disallows me
to exercise what arouses me
a restraint on one wrist
and denial in the other
the only way both will be freed
is reliance on one another
until the restraint vanishes
slips and falls loose
the denial will become acceptance
collapse and forgiveness
craving for more
aching and pleading
like a fix of *******
until I succeed it
until I give in
until I provide
it would crave and curl up
upon the darkness in the atmosphere
it would obsess until I say yes
so in sympathy to provide
and empathy to aid
she would dream wish and crave
me, the man of infinite words
the man of handcuffs and strait jackets
the man of wombs and catacombs
the man tightened up and tucked away
and she fails to realize
by saying no out of morality
she fails to get what she wants
as I remains shackled to my poor excuse
I seem to call my reality