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Sep 2014
I care about you so much & want you to have the happiness & peace you of all people deserve. I've done everything I can & more to help you try to achieve that. My heart is full of love for you. And it shatters into millions of pieces when I think about not being able to be that one for you forever. "The heart is treacherous & desperate" according to the bible, and it's true since I keep trying to convince myself that if I hold on tight enough for a little longer this could be something real with us. But we both know it can't, and we both know why.
On one hand, I feel like it's so unfair & selfish of me to just up & turn my back & abandon this whole thing - whatever this "thing" is. On the other hand, it's like why should I feel so guilty, you deserve more than what I can give you at this distance, you deserve love in person for real. And so do I! And meanwhile, I don't want to search for love anywhere else because when I love someone they are my focus, my one & only. Heart & soul.  I feel like my years are slipping away from me, & I'm losing precious time that could be used finding something solid & tangible & mutually giving. It hurts letting go of something so valuable to you, but sometimes you find that letting it go makes room for something so much more worthwhile & desired.
I'm sorry I'm so long-winded with my good-byes. Maybe I'd be better off with short & sweet, but you're more than that to me.
So I'm really doing it this time, whether or not you understand or agree. Of course, it's hard for me, because I know this hurts you, ... I hope you know it hurts me too. But the saying goes "time heals all wounds".... Maybe not all of them, but some wounds remind us of what it means to feel.
I love you - always will...
Please take care, stay strong, and never give up on yourself. Others are waiting to see your big moment. I'll feel it when it comes, I know I will.. remember? ...we're connected electrically.
Written by
   Jamie L Cantore, Pax, Timothy and Erenn
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