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Sep 2014
She’s five and the sun has just flown away
She lies in her bed, without colors of day
She doesn’t know why the sun is not there
But her fantasy just flies to who knows where
A monster, a lion or maybe a cat
But the cat has just chosen her as its rat
It’s under her bed, or maybe outside
She doesn’t dare to look, believe me, she tried

She’s 15 and is no longer afraid of the cat
That may be hiding inside that or that
But when she lies down in bed, the same bed as then
Looking at the clock turning quarter past ten
She replays her day inside her numb teenage-mind
The day was not good, not in any way kind
She fears the boy, the girl, even herself
The same girl looking down from the photo shelf

She’s 25 and happy, she’s celebrating now
She’s got a new job, she doesn’t know how
But in some way, her qualities was completely enough
Even though the way go get them had been really tough
The outside is happy, but the inside goes “Stop!”
It reminds her that she’s still not at the top
She has a long way to go, and now comes the fear
To never succeed, I mean, the future’s never clear

She’s 40 and her child just started school
She’s been happy so far, her family’s cool
But now her son is leaving this place
Leaving his mother, to win a new race
She fears that her son maybe won’t succeed
She doesn’t realize that she’s done a good deed
She’s raised a wonderful boy, but still she’s unsure
Will he ever find the key to open the new door?

She’s 60 and her son is now the same age
That she was when she started the family page
And now her fear has turned into reality
The thought that before was just a fantasy
Her son announces that he and his wife
Is soon gonna raise a new little life
Her fear that her son doesn’t need her anymore
Is now making her think, What will she now live for?

She’s 80, her grandson is just gonna graduate
A feeling to both she and her son can relate
But she’s now too old to come and be there
Her own love and man has gone “Who-knows-where?”
Her fear is no longer rejection or death
No, she’s accepted that someday she’ll take the last breath
Her fear involving her grandson is now the feeling’s ground
How will he make it without her around?

Her age is now to the point where the counting is done
And beside what used to be here stands now her son
Her only child, his only Mom, are no longer there
For the first time, his life is like his worst nightmare
This makes him realize that no matter your age
And even though you react through scream or rage
Fear will always be there, cutting like a knife
Even his mother had fear her whole life
Joel Lindskog
Written by
Joel Lindskog
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