i.**
I don't know if I actually liked you or not because I forced emotions onto you during a time that I was trying to figure my own heart out. I'm sorry for that, but you were always a ****** person. I should've listened to them, cause if I would ever love any boy it never would've been you.

ii.
You were the chocolate chunks in mint ice cream and the stars in the sky. You were sweet and spicy and you were unforgettable. I didn't love you, but ******* you were beautiful. I'm not sure if your hair or heart burned brighter. Maybe it was me once you threw me in the fire.

iii.
It's because of you that I feel no shame in who I kiss or **** or love or write for, even if you used to be the cause of my guilt after we broke up. You made brown eyes my favorite. You taught me that I need to carry my own weight, and you taught me how to love. You will always have my heart. It'll always be you I write poems for on the back of napkins and the middle of chemistry notes, no matter how much trust you make me lose in you. I love you still.

iv.
You made me hate anyone with a name beginning with the letter A. I still think about how you and you friends wished I would've swallowed pills in handfuls. You made me fall apart the day I figured out that you ****** her, and the day you were able to tell me you stole her. You'll be the first to know if I live to 28.

v.
I will forever regret how I used you. You're lovely. You really, really are. Maybe I should've listened to you and not gone back to her, but I might not be where I am now if I hadn't. I wish we could still speak.

vi.
I still admire you. You made me write some of the sweetest, shortest poems. You'll never know they were for you.

vii.
I'm sorry, but not really. I would never love you or ******* and you knew that.

viii.
You're someone I'll always be confused about. I think I might've loved you, but I'm not sure how much of my feelings were genuine. I faked a lot with you. Things like ******* and laughter and feelings didn't come too easy. I'll never forget how you thought you were the one who won the breakup, though.

ix.
I would've ****** you until you said you'd choke me 'til I turned blue. That and the fact that you thought you owned me, and I wasn't about to be in a relationship like that again.

x.
God, what do I say about you? You were one in a million and I never found any boys attractive til I found you. I look for you in everyone now, since you're not much of a risk taker and didn't wanna risk any legal trouble. 3 years is still within my states limit, by the way.

xi.
I wish you would've listened. I wish I didn't get drunk with you. I wish I had the strength to move your hands off of me. The signs all point to sociopath, but I'm not quite sure how to cut you out.

xii.
I love you. You fell from distant stars that I couldn't even name and you decided to fall into the world that I know and become someone I will always remember. You're one of the best friends I ever had. Not only would I let you handcuff me to your headboard, I'm already always at your feet and would destroy the world to let you find your home again.

xiii.
I am so ******* sorry. I understand if you now hate everyone with my name because of me. I never thought I could do something like that. I was too far gone and I wasn't there. It's no excuse. You forgave me but I can still sense your ache when you look at me.

xiv.
You were sober.
I wasn't.
It would've been good under different circumstances.

(t.w.)