How do I get the tears to stop?
How do I get this darkness to quit coming up after I work so hard to push it down?
How do I make my eyes stop filling up with water?
Face burning.
Head hurting and spinning.
Eyes glossy.
Nose running.
I hate it.
I feel so weak.
My body convulsing into hurt.

How do I stop feeling sick?
How do I stop being sick?

I know I am.

Yet, there is no cure for what I have.
Some may argue and say there is.
Maybe others have actually found this "cure".
I wish I could find it.
I wish this would all stop.

It all comes at once too.
Never as just a short thing that passes over quickly.
I wish it was like that.
At least that would be better.
Instead it comes all at once.
Like someone punching me over and over and over again.
Until my body feels ready to give in.
I fight so hard not to let it.
But, some days are tougher than others.

Does anyone even notice?

I've led myself to think they don't.
Or they do, and it just doesn't seem to matter to them.
I've even tried a few time to make it apparent to someone.
The person I thought most important who would see it happening.

But, they didn't.

Or, like I said, they might have, and they didn't care.

I see it happening to others all the time.
I try to help.
No matter what.
I want to help.
But, like some have stated before:

I guess sometimes people get so caught up with themselves, that they don't notice the ones helping them are hurting too...

How did I get here.