I'm not quite sure when it happened..
But it woke the demons inside me and I felt them,
Hook chains from my soul,
Latching them onto wonders that evidently,
I wasn't quite ready revel in.

I stare from a distance.
Watching, As if coming alive for the first time,
How can this one person can have such an affect on me.

I always thought I'd love a man.
And it is as compelling as it is attainable.

Ive hated myself for feeling this way.
Ive hated myself for wanting it so bad.
Ive hated my imagination,
For persuading my logic into believing that it could work,
Because I dont even know how itworks.

All I know is that it is alive.
And its presence makes me feel my own regret push forth beyond my barriers.
It was supposed to remain buried.
I was supposed to remain sane.
It was never supposed to exist.

But it does and I am not sure how I feel about that.
The inner turmoil is loud.

My demons mock my demise.

How can I survive it?