I started a little fire
on the fire escape.
Felt it burn my tongue.
There was a creaking above me.
And white smoke below.
The creaking made me feel
guilty
lucky
and lonely.
All at once.
As it grew louder
it made me want to rip my hair out.
Maybe my heart too.
The fire has left me.
It bounced out into the street.
I saw four wheels run it over.
It made me think of when I smashed my fingers in my doorway.
Of when I used a plastic bag as an oven mitt.
I felt all of that
But this-
This was it.
That feeling you get-
When you wish he wake and hold you like he promised.