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xcvii Mar 9
i can't even find it in me to hate you,
and what would the purpose be?
you have colored my life
in every way i could've imagined
for years and years on end.

we must've fit together at some point,
occasionally i can barely remember
walking up those steps with you
closing the distance between us,
staring over your shoulder at the sunset on the beach

and that was the part that felt like a movie
and this is the part that feels like dying
and the worst part is that
i can't change your mind
and you can't change mine.
xcvii Mar 5
...i can't delete your number
if i have it memorized
.
xcvii Mar 5
with my cheek on your bare shoulder
in my living room
past my bedtime
i am unable to let go
of the warmth
you provide.

never noticed how tall you are until now,
with my body measured up to yours this way.

kiss me?
you know i want to,
and i know you've imagined it-
maybe when i'm a few more screwdrivers in
and a few beers for you.

i could make your legs shake and your spine shudder-
ask anyone, the rumors
are true.
i know what i'm doing
and i'll do it to you.

let's make the most of staying up together
drinking ***** in your bright living room.
ajc.
xcvii Mar 3
you felt so soft and safe the first time you caught my eye--
falling so hard and fast into my life.

i can't help but wonder where you are tonight.

i keep you alive through a cd with the plastic wrap still on,
hidden in my bookshelf like a secret,
buried treasure.
once i take the plastic off and listen,
part of us will die.
so the disc remains unplayed,
i only hear you in my mind.

i miss you more than i know how to describe.

will you wing back into my life
just as quickly as you arrived?
probably not.
xcvii Feb 25
-
EVERY NIGHT YOU LEFT ME HANGING
WAS ANOTHER MORNING HANGOVER
  Apr 2018 xcvii
Brooke P
You're always forging me,
to see how far I'll bend.
Hammering me down,
to see how low I can go.
Your heat dances close to me,
but I can't let everyone down.

Though you terrify me,
I would probably still let you cradle me
in your cast iron vice grip
and sing me to sleep,
like Louis
like Ella
crooning,
when I can't breathe.
You could reel me back in
with the promise of
creating something beautiful
and maybe not feeling so
empty and alone
all the time,
but I can't let everyone down.

Your atmosphere ***** at me
and I'm dragging my feet through your sludge,
plodding forward with my eyes cast down.
You know when my mind wanders
or when I'm filling my voids,
so you can sneak in through the cracks
and take your place in my subconscious,
but I can't let everyone down.

I try to remind myself
why your comfort isn't worth it;
like peaking out of my blinds
or chatting with insulation
(pushing me towards one last line)
or fearing the world outside
altogether.
I'm scared because I know
that you're the only thing
that has ever felt like home to me,
but I can't let everyone down.
I can't let everyone down.
this one means a lot to me. that is all.
  Apr 2018 xcvii
Ignatius Hosiana
You
didn't hurt me
I was already
in pain when
we met...
Let me
just
say you
handed
me back my
bag of hurt
that you had
temporarily
taken... It was
beautiful when
I didn't have it
so thank you
for the
while.
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