I was only a small child. He pulled me by my hair and threw me on his bed. He climbed on top of me and whispered into my ears that I was the best gift that god had ever given to him for his own use. He looked at me with so much anger, hunger, desired intensity, I could see the fire in his eyes as they began to dilate. He slapped me on my face thrice and shouted at me to stop crying and that my tears were not gonna save me now. He could see the fear in my eyes, but his cold heart so selfish of this child in front of this monster turned its back on me, the child that used to be loved, cared, and well looked after. He began tying my arms to the bed and my legs too. His proximity was too much for me because I could smell the alcohol, the heaviness of this man against my skin. He began touching me, trying to make me believe that everything was going to be okay and soon it would all go away . What could I have said? For I was only a small child back then. All I could recall was the flash of a girls innocence stripped away by her own flesh and blood, her father the man that help his wife give birth to his only child, the man whose now become her biggest nightmare. If I had to say something to him right now, questions of why he had done what he did to me would come about. Why dad? Why did you do it? Why did you **** and abuse me? I thought fathers are suppose to love and protect their daughters? Why did you make me hate you so? You have left me scarred. All I see in the mirror is an ugly, used, girl with a lot of blood on her hands. I feel so *****, you made me *****. I cant stare at any guy without seeing your face and that evil smile, that smile my worst nightmare because I always knew what it meant. I hate you, you ruined my life and now, now I cant even begin to describe how much I wanted or have tried to **** ,myself because of you. I hope your happy, proud of yourself, do feel you have achieved what you wanted? Did you honestly love me? Why why did it have to be me? I guess only God knows, after all I was the best gift that God had given to my father.