i.
i’ve been working on
breaking down the walls
that i spent
so long
building up, hoping
that she might
peek through the holes
and want to join me
in my abyss.

ii.
the others came instead.

i waved them over the mess
hesitantly
and tried to smile as they
surveyed what lay behind.

iii.
it was only as the clouds descended
and laid their tears
across the pavement
that i felt the pain
of letting the old stones
litter the ground.
lightning struck my
exposed chest
and the blocks
fired nerve endings
with every crack
of thunder.

iv.
the urge to line the bricks
and spread the
mortar is undeniable

v.
but i’m still waiting
for her

to come by and tell me
that i don’t need them.