i drank a bottle of wine in bed/that does not make me romantic/i slept for sixteen hours today and i am still so ******* tired/i drove around my neighborhood chain smoking with burning eyes/i stood in my swimming pool and starred at the sky and wondered if i was losing my ******* mind/i am not peacefully sad;there is no such thing/i moved to a city where i thought id finally get to know me/i ran home bandaged and shaking five months later/i keep swearing to myself im gonna get better/i used to believe me/but i dont know how to anymore/my pain is not a ******* trend