i spent four years of talk therapy and pills and guidance trips and hurting myself  to learn happiness is a choice and maybe i spent too much time being sad to realize the world around me; you hurt me so i hurt myself and the scars have faded but you have not; i’ve been scared to tell the majority of my friends about my problems because i’m afraid they’ll leave and see me as just another burden; i’m finally starting to feel okay and maybe the earth isn’t as scary as i made it out to be; sometimes i wake up and the sun shines on my fragile body and i’m happy to be alive; though sometimes i get really bad and i feel so alone and i forget all the coping devices i have learned; i know i’m going to be okay; i have so many supportive people in my life; i’m not completely okay again but maybe i will be soon; i cant get bad again i cant get bad again i wont get bad again i cant i ******* can’t;