its 11 at night
its not even that late and yet
i'm feeling like i do at those early hours of the morning
when everything is going wrong and everything is my fault
that feeling that i get
when all the ******* kicks in
and even though i know that it's wrong
i feel worthless
and i want to just disappear
because then i wouldnt make any more mistakes
and everyone else could just move happily on their way
because there's no more of the boy trying to fix things and act all big and powerful
and ending up hurting people
there's a small amount of peace in their lives
knowing that im not a problem anymore
and i know that this is false
i know that people like me, i know that i help people
but this isnt a thing that is so easily shaken
unlike my body that's shaking all over
and im just sitting here, trying to get over these feelings and get to sleep
because these feelings have stopped decent sleep for the past 3 nights
and have caused multiple problems during the day
******* its only 11 at night
and i need sleep