it's 6:14 a.m. and i'm sitting on my terrace thinking about death.

i'm sorry for all the times my morbidity has brought you down
i'm sorry for all the times i've held onto your hand so tightly
my nails have pierced through your flesh.

i am afraid of letting go, you see.

even more afraid than i am of death
even more afraid than i am of actually holding your hand in the first place.

your tongue is like a razorblade when you tell me to leave
(that i am bringing you down)

i am sorry, darling.

did you know that the average human takes 8,409,600 breaths a year?
more than 7,000,000 of my breaths were filled with you.
did you know the average human being breathes fire zero times a year?
i'm sorry for constantly setting fire to your heart
and your lungs.

it's 6:15 a.m.
and i have nothing to think about but death.