I am So tired. I am cold And white And blind. On my wrists, Defensive wounds From a vicious love, From the kisses Of a black asp With constellation eyes.
I have been reliving my death. I have been choosing That sweet, frigid venom, An addict dripping poison into my veins.
But I am So tired. I am spent And lost And alone. There are bruises on the soft insides of my arms From a habit of worshiping Sharp things. Under my fingernails, Dark soil Evidence of a grave I've overcome Too many times And a struggle I've won At a cost.
I am sick of death. Sick of attending funerals for the futures I lose Brutally and unexpectedly. I am sick of being tolerated. I am sick of being Sorry. I want to feel life in me. I want to learn the taste of sunlight And safety. Of forgiveness-- I hear It is sweet as warm honey. (I wouldn't Know)
I have gazed.... Oh, I have gazed long, And the void saw me As I saw it. And long after I wished I could look elsewhere I stood, gorgonized, on the edge.
Hold my hand. Remind me that I have hands. Spread light In me. Forgive me for my gravity as I lean forward on that hollow breeze that's always calling. Pull me back and keep me Steady.
I will never be On solid ground. I will never be easy. I will never be Safe. I am half light and half shadow, Half joy and half pain, Half kindness and half anger. I am a great, twisted tree, With my branches in heaven And my roots In hell. Love that in me, Will you? Will somebody? I am ready To bloom. I am ready To live. I am ready to be exactly What I am.