Jul 2014
In the past month or so
I've felt it coming
A breakdown.
Suicidal thoughts
claimed my mind
took up residence,
and starting planting thier seeds.
In the past month or so
I've tried to **** myself
not once
not twice
Hell not even three times
A grand total of
7 times.
Overdosing on asprin
Starving myself
cutting too deep
not even getting out of the way
when a car came a little to close
Hey the latest was
Exedrin.....
................. extra strentgh
I need help
I know I do.
But the thing is
I dont want to.
I dont want to live anymore.
I hate my pathetic life.
I'm sitting here at my cubicle
taking call after call
Trying so hard not to
show my tears to the people on the phone.
I give up
I GIVE UP
I'm sorry everyone
I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was
Goodbye everyone
I've felt it coming
A breakdown.
Suicidal thoughts
claimed my mind
took up residence,
and starting planting thier seeds.
In the past month or so
I've tried to **** myself
not once
not twice
Hell not even three times
A grand total of
7 times.
Overdosing on asprin
Starving myself
cutting too deep
not even getting out of the way
when a car came a little to close
Hey the latest was
Exedrin.....
................. extra strentgh
I need help
I know I do.
But the thing is
I dont want to.
I dont want to live anymore.
I hate my pathetic life.
I'm sitting here at my cubicle
taking call after call
Trying so hard not to
show my tears to the people on the phone.
I give up
I GIVE UP
I'm sorry everyone
I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was
Goodbye everyone
I wrote this (7/12/14) I was done, I had enough. I didnt want to live anymore. I know that was only a few days ago seeing as today is (7/115/14). But I as I was sitting there ready to end it I thought about my siblings and how it would be there birthday on the 14th (they are twins) . I didnt want to ruin their birthday. I didnt want to ***** anything else up. So I found the strength to keep going. If only for my siblings. And I am still here. I will fight to live even though I do not want to right now. I will fight to live if only for the sake of all that love me.
