How I wish I wasn't such a horrible person
That pretends not to be so that
he may mingle with the rest of the humans

How I wish i was a natural, a prodigy, at something
anything really

so that I could at last give my spirit
the recognition it
seems to feel it deserves

How I wish I would stop pushing all
of my lovers away

one by one

they all vanish
Like driftwood
into the depth that is
the enormous ocean that my empty heart

has become

How I wish that she loved me
how I wish I could love my family like many, many do
how I wish I wasn't me