She was filled with desire, crave to be free to give  with no fee. It was engraved in her soul radiating through her eyes ,from just looking at her you know how eccentric she was but desire is a double edged sword of pleasure and pain that would drive any constrained person insane . She didn't know how to exist with all this pain so she ripped out her own eccentric vain. And now she's lost in being another human that is just plain.